When Maria Butzki, a
mother of two daughters,
left her husband Paul for
another man, she didn’t
realise how much she’d
miss him. At the same
time, she couldn’t imagine
living without her new
lover Peter Gruman. So
when the two men struck
up an extraordinary
friendship, she came up
with her perfect solution
and moved Peter into the
family home in Barking,
East London.
Maria says: “The
three of us never
share a bed.
Although I have a
sexual relationship
with each man, that
side is kept very
private. If Paul is
out, then Peter and I
might make love, and
vice-versa . But both
men turn a blind eye
and we never
discuss it with one
another.”
Now Maria, 33, Paul, 37,
their two children, Laura,
16, and Amy, 12, and
Peter, 36, live as one big
happy family.
“People might think it’s
weird but I love both men
and couldn’t choose
between them,” says
Maria, a housing liaison
officer. “When I left Paul
there was a huge hole in
my life. But the thought of
never seeing Peter again
was heartbreaking. So
living with both men is the
only way.”
Incredibly, the men agree.
Paul, a railway assessor,
says: “Peter is a great
guy. When Maria first had
the affair with him I was
just heartbroken. But as I
got to know him, I
realised we have so much
in common . We both
adore fishing, and he’s
like a surrogate dad to the
kids.”
Peter, a construction site
manager, adds: “We all
get on so well. It doesn’t
feel as if I’m sharing
Maria. There’s no
jealousy …it feels as if we
are a team .”
It was last year that they
all moved in together after
three years of Maria's to-
ing and fro-ing between
her husband and lover.
Peter sleeps on the sofa
while Paul has a room
upstairs. Maria shares a
bedroom with her eldest
daughter.
Maria was 15 when she
and Paul met at school.
After dating for two years,
she unexpectedly became
pregnant. Paul proposed
seven months into her
term and a month later
they married. Four years
after the birth of Laura,
Maria had their second
daughter Amy. But in
2006 their marriage hit a
rocky patch.
Maria says: “Paul was
out of work for six months
and it put a strain on our
relationship. The stress
led to less sex and we
grew apart. Although we
carried on with life –
cooking, cleaning, looking
after the children – we’d
lost our intimacy. The
relationship was more
brother and sister than a
couple.”
Around the same time a
new manager, Peter,
started at Maria’s
workplace.
“Someone introduced me
to Peter and when we
smiled at one another, I
could feel the chemistry
straight away,” she says.
“Until that moment, I’d
been happily married for
13 years to my childhood
sweetheart and had never
thought about being with
another man.”
Peter, who was also
married at the time,
recalls the same instant
attraction. “It was like a
bolt from the blue… love
at first sight,” he says.
Soon the pair were
meeting secretly. “We’d
meet at the local pub for
lunch,” says Maria. “One
day he put a hand on my
leg and my whole body
began trembling with
desire. I knew it was
wrong but soon we were
sleeping together.”
Their affair carried on for
a year before Paul
stumbled on messages
between them on Maria’s
phone. She managed to
convince him they were
just friends. But a few
months later her lover left
his wife and moved from
Luton, Beds, to be closer
to Maria in Barking.
“I grew even closer to
Peter,” says Maria. “Paul
had to go away on
business for a few weeks
and so Peter took the
children shopping,
spoiling them rotten with
gifts.”
But on Valentine’s Day in
2010, Maria says she
could no longer cope with
the secrecy. “I began to
feel more and more that
my future lay with Peter,”
she says. “So I confessed
my affair to Paul, and
moved out to stay with
Peter.”
Now they all live together
as husbands and wife,
and here is what Maria
said: “Ultimately the
children benefit from three
adults able to help with
school work or give them
lifts. Financially too, it
makes sense as the bills
are split three ways.”
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